Semper Apollo 

Q: What kind of music do you play?
A: All kinds. And I actually mean that.

Q: Is CFW a band?
A: Depends. There are all the instruments normally found in a band, but they’re just all played by one person, one at a time. That scramble your brain yet?

Q: Why do these songs sound like they were recorded in a closet?
A: Because they were recorded in my living room without the benefit of multiple mics, isolation rooms, 91682028 button soundboards, engineers, producers, and hot chicks grilling burgers.

Q: Oh if that’s the case, why do these songs sound relatively so professional?
A: Because they were recorded in my living room using the best gear eBay had to offer at the lowest price.

Q: Did someone write these songs for you?
A: Yes, that someone was me. Wrote the lyrics, arranged the parts and performed them.

Q: Who’s the girl who’s singing the high parts?
A: That girl is me and that girl is a guy. I hope that killed whatever thoughts you had in your head about doing weird stuff with her….him…me.

Q: Why do your drums sound electronic?
A: Because they are.

Q: I like metal. Will I like your music?
A: If you’re determined to like something, don’t let me stop you. Just listen for anything that sounds metallic.

Q: I hate country. Will I hate your music?
A: If you’re determined to hate something, don’t let me stop you. But there are plenty of non-country songs you can not hate.

Q: How come you don’t have any relationship or love songs?
A: Actually I do write love songs, they’re just not straightforward. You may have to look a little deeper than your average top 40 song but feel free to apply them to whatever or whoever you want.

Q: Yeah but I need one I can sing to someone so they’ll go out with me. Do you have anything that can help with that?
A: If you sing Lady Cara Tene to someone and they don’t run off in confusion and anger, you’ve found a keeper.

Q: I want to use one of your songs on a video I made to post online. Can I do that without getting sued by the RIAA, WMG, CIA, FBI, AFL/CIO, FDIC and NFL?
A: Absolutely. As a musician, once I make the sounds, its up to you to do something with them. If you want to use a song of mine in a video go right ahead. Its grassroots support for creators, not middle-men.

Q: That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard? How are you supposed to make money if you give things away for free?
A: People are free to buy merchandise, hard copies of albums and attend concerts. I didn’t go into music to get super-rich. I got into it so I could be overexposed in the media and thus irritate people from school who didn’t listen to me.

Q: When will you be appearing in concert?
A: As soon as I find session players who will work for either home cooked meals, computer repair, modeling headshots or a hearty handshake.

Q: What kind of venues will you seek out?
A: The ones that don’t require me to bring people with me. The venue’s job is to get people there. My job is to entertain them. If they hate me, I don’t get invited back. If they like me, people stay all night, buy lots of drinks and food and I come back the next time with a following.

Q: When are you releasing an album?
A: I have three in the works. First is “Long Island Sound” which is a collection of song written for and about my friends on Long Island. Second is “Dining On Ashes” and third is “Parlay West”. No I do not have a release schedule yet.

Q: Can I get invited to the release parties?
A: Sure. Be prepared to spend a fun filled night at Chuck E. Cheese on exit 13 off I-287. Actually I have no idea when albums will be released but I’m sure something will be planned.

Q: Can I be a groupie?
A: Only if you can double as a roadie and lift more than 50lbs on a regular basis.

Q: Can I join your band?
A: Absolutely. I like open ended and free form music. Think of my songs like an empty house: You have to stay within the walls, but you can put the furniture wherever you want. And by the time the show is half over we’ve all kicked a giant hole in the wall and totally don’t care.

Q: Why are you called CFW?
A: I’ll tell you later.